Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Rudely Inviting Myself to the Blogger Bracket Challenge

I am bored... Like, really bored.

The Dodger season is over, and I deeply despise both clubs in the Fall Classic.  I've got no horse in that race.

Worse yet, Dodger drama is starting to hit its stride, and I can't stand it. We've got the idiots on the left who make up rumor after rumor, and the fools on the right pushing a high school musical drama on us like we should give a crap.

The season's over folks!  And the Dodgers will undoubtedly make some changes, but please don't tell me that we'll trade the farm for David Price or that Don Mattingly's feelings are hurt.  It just reads as mindless babble filled with a load of BS. 

So instead, I'm gonna play a game.  A game I wasn't even invited to, but I'm gonna play nonetheless.  Because, that's how I roll.
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Thanks to Stealing Home at All Trade Bait, All the Time, I came across Nachos Grande's Blogger Bracket Challenge and feel compelled to throw my 2 cents in.  Go here for his rules.  Since I'm not actually in the game, I will play along as I wish.  The topic for the evening is the card below.

And what is this card?

Beats the living heck out of me.

It looks like one of those 'Magic the Gathering' kind of cards.  Ya know, the game geeks play (I should talk!)  Thankfully, Nachos Grande informs us that it's from the 2011 Topps Attax set - a card set that doubles as a card game.  (I had previously previewed the Dodger cards from this set, here)

As for the makeup of the card, there's a bunch of numbers on the face that screams sabermetrics, and I'm sure it confuses just the same. Someone, please find me Nate Silver to explain how this all works.

The featured player is no hit/ good glove outfielder Franklin Gutierrez; who was once a top flight Dodger prospect before he was sent packing for a bag of balls and a lunatic named Milton "board game" Bradley.

That reminds me, what ever happened to Mr. Crazy?

Oh, yeah!  He was recently convicted of physically attacking his wife, but due to appeals has yet to serve any time.  Strangely, his wife died a month ago, and I have to wonder if I might be next if he reads this post.

The card hilariously points out the obvious about Gutierrez.
Easy Out: A batter who hits a single is out
Wow!  Such harsh criticism from a piece of cardboard.  Remind me to never look for a Baseball blogger themed card set.  No doubt it would say something like "fat and failed wannabe sports writer:  Hurts back on any pitch leading to long stint on DL" on my card.

Joking aside, Franklin Gutierrez has stayed in the Majors since he left the Dodger nest.  That's a total of 9 years longer than I'll ever get to experience, and 3 years short of Milton "please don't kill me" Bradley's career.  He doesn't hit much; which limits his playing time to being a spot starter or reserve defensive outfielder.  Gutierrez's value as a ballplayer is in his work on the field.  He is truly a great defender, and if you need a guy off the bench to shore up your outfield during the late innings, then I can't think of anyone better.  After all, you don't get nicknamed "death to flying things" for being a duck hunter.

Franklin Gutierrez is likely to be a free agent this Winter (Seattle holds a $7.5Mil option/$500k buyout for 2014), so if your team is shopping I'd suggest looking Franklin's way.  His glove will probably be a difference maker in tight-hard-fought games.


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