Thursday, April 01, 2010

Sign Me Up for the Blue Ballers!

I am officially throwing my hat into the ring. I want to considered for the Dodger Blue Baller dance team.

I want to jiggle my butt while dancing to the tunes of Nancy Bea Hefley on the organ as Dodgers fans throughout the stadium clap along.

I could easily maneuver through the aisle while doing the jig with Julie of the Blue Babes.

I can imagine it now- my big fat behind with Blue short-shorts riding up my crack and a skin tight top that accentuates my manly quadrupled ridged man-boobs next to a painted Blue vixen with a t-shirt cannon in her arms. We would perform the latest dance routines that includes jumping, throwing and cheering like George Bush during his college years.

I fit all of the qualification outlined at SOSG too. I am a sports geek that not only reads blogs, but I write one. Maybe not too eloquently, but I am a part of the underground pajama wearing fraternity with pimples and a WOW account to prove it.

So, when are the auditions?

Breaking: Dodgers to be Sold!

In a year that has been so tumultuous, the incredible has happened.

The McCourts may finally be making their grand exit. No more talk of divorce or poorly funded operations. Budgets can get back to normal as the irresponsible spendthrifts will soon be making their glorious walk out of the Southland. No more thousand dollar bottles of champagne or million dollar monthly stipends to aggravate the Dodger faithful.

I have it on good authority that the McCourts are indeed seeking to sell the Dodgers, and several suitors have already expressed a strong interest.

Yes, Mark Cuban sat down and spoke to the regime. So did talk radio blowhard Rush Limbaugh. In the end, though, only one buyer was seen to have the wherewithal to take down the team. NBC, the glorious network made infamous by the CoCo/ Leno debacle will be signing papers this weekend. Furthermore, I understand that Keith Olbermann, liberal talk show host on MSNBC, will be installed as acting GM. Go here for more about this surprising move.

Dodger Blue Cheerleaders?

As I'm sure you all know, via SOSG, the Dodgers will have their own cheerleading troop, called the Blue Babes, to move around Dodger Stadium is skin tight clothes and dance moves that would make Tiger Woods blush. They will no doubt seek to entice the drunken masses to dance along in an anarchically and sexually driven kind of revelry. Imagine ladies wearing only painted Blue clothes jumping down the aisles while passing out t-shirts from pump action cannons to the upper decks.

I, for the record, am in total approval. I understand that the Dodger tradition of family and good clean livin' may be harmed by such nonsense, but who cares. Sex sells, and the Dodgers need the money.

With the past corporate debacle that was Fox/News Corp. and the marital infidelity and impending apocalypse brought on by the McCourt divorce, I say, let's enjoy it while we can.

I, for one, can't wait to meet the ladies who will adorn Dodger Stadium with their good looks and charm. On this special of days be sure to read SOSG as they had the special honor of meeting and interviewing some of these wholesome gals.
LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Dodgers and Victoria's Secret are proud to announce The Blue Babes, an on-field baseball dance team in the tradition of the Marlins Mermaids and the Brewers' Diamond Dancers. The Blue Babes will provide between-innings entertainment for crowds at Dodger Stadium and will represent the team at functions throughout Los Angeles.

eBay: A-Okay

A happy and cheerful Tommy Lasorda expresses his approval in Pittsburgh as the Dodgers extend their lead in the West to 8.5 games. Unfortunately, they wouldn't finish strong as they finished 2nd to the Reds by the end of the season. Other than that, doesn't Tommy look quite dapper?