Tuesday, April 01, 2014

BREAKING NEWS! Our Problem has Been Solved! Dodgers Launch their Own Satellite!


What an amazing bit of news this is.  On the brink of the very first Dodger game of the regular season to be solely aired on SportsNet LA, the Dodger have announced that, in cooperation with Time Warner Cable, Guggenheim Satellite Systems and Warren Buffet's Liberty Global, they have just put into space their own dedicated satellite.

Not only can the Dodgers be seen in the lower 48, but they can also be seen globally.  In fact, the new venture will be called "Dodger Global".

Via Stan Kasten: "We are excited about this opportunity to take a brand as noteworthy as the Dodgers to the masses. 

Warren Buffet: "I like Coca Cola, McDonald's and the Dodgers.  What could be more American that that!  And I'm all about investing in America."

Mark Walter: "This is an excellent opportunity to leverage our core competencies with the leadership of a global thinker.  This marks an opening salvo towards sustainability, the seamless integration of our brand to future global opportunities and a 'business-to-consumer' model that I am sure will appeal to fans the world over."

In order to receive the broadcast all you have to do is go to the Dodger website and order a specially made satellite receiver (that is the size of a breadbox) to be placed on the ceiling of your house.  It cost just $1,999.00 for the device, an installation and hookup fee of $199.00 and a subscription of $49.99 per month (with a 5-year contract).  Season ticket holders get a 10% discount.

And that's a deal folks... Cuz, goodness knows, you won't be able to watch any Dodger games without it.

* Please follow on twitter @ernestreyes *
* Dodgers Blue Heaven home page *

1 comment:

  1. I just figured I should clarify this post since it appears to be getting plenty of hits weeks afterwards... this entire post was an April Fools joke

    ReplyDelete

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